Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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