She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
