He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
