If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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