He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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