He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
