By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
