somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
