I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
