The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
