Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
