i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
