im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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