Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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