dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Randomize
