i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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