doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
