...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
