My sheets look like a crime scene.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I yelled at your uterus for you.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
