yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
