physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
My pussy is not your playground.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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