My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
