WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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