A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
