ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
