i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
