all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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