wakey wakey hands off snakey
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
