the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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