This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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