Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
