We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
