therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
As shirtless as possible
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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