There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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