Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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