I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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