Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
