Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
