this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
