last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
