you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
