she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
