so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
