mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
