the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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