dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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