so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
