Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
so explain again why im purple
no
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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