When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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