It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
