Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
