He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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