even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
