she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
